Friday, 12 July 2019

Upon death and other matters.

So here's a ramble of the kind I don't do so often. I set 2019 as a purge year - no don't go thinking I've been running riot on the streets dressed in carnival costumes while I gleefully find ways of slaughtering everyone who so much as piqued my anger. I've been clearing out the physical cr*p in my life. I'm no fan of the KonMari method, but any fool can see that when your house is cluttered so is your life! My house is full of four generations of such clutter, not all of which I can dispose of. So, that means I've been clearing out stuff from my own past mostly, or at least re-ordering it. This in turn has lead me to contemplate everything I've done thus far, as well as all the places I've been and the people I've met. And I've been thinking about getting old - I'm at that stage and it's been in my mind more than ever. Now if you don't know me personally you probably won't know I'm the youngest in my family. My oldest sister reached the same age as my parents were when they died, this year. (Too young, after battling years of disability and illness, in case you are wondering.)

Why Fay Wray (and not my teenage alter ego) got the lead role in King Kong (1933).
(I found old cartoons in my basement.)

It's a weird thought that she's made it this far and my other sister and I are not far behind. My sisters have lived long enough to see their grandchildren, travel abroad and live a good life. And that's an achievement in itself. It hasn't been easy. Age is creeping up on all of us and health is inevitably sneaking out the back door, although we battle this more effectively than my parents were ever able to. For whatever reason, I'm going through long phases of feeling perhaps I should let my still teenage kids take the reins; let them have the fun and adventures, you know? But then I think why should I?

Let's face it, my kids are going to have adventures whether they have my blessing or not! And who's to say that we, as parents, should just give up on our lives? Now those of you who are my age (the middling kind) or above, will know you still think and feel the same way you always have about most things in life. Let me give you some examples. I still love all the trips I take, although they may not be so far away. I still love creating stories and clothes, pictures and cartoons. I still love reading and writing, teaching and movie-going, gardening and listening to music too loud (in our house the kids tell their mum and dad to turn the volume down).

So where I'm I going with this? I'm not giving up anything I still feel in my heart I want to do, just like I'm not thanking and disposing of all the stuff that clutters my basement. I'm reorganising, I'm delegating and I am thankful that I have gotten this far. I have sen too many people I love leave this world before they have even reached anything like the age I have or even had the chance to think about goals they want to achieve. So from now on, I'm going to try and appreciate those people close to me and who support me and give them my love, respect and support in return. I'm cleaning out the dead wood, pruning back on clutter, making way for new growth. (Better add gardening analogies to the list above...)

What am I reading?
The Department of Curiosities by Karen J. Carlisle
Split Second by David Baldacci

What am I making?
Scones for cream teas - it's summer after all.

What am I watching?
Greta
A whole load of vintage youtubers - retracing my late teen interest in the 1920s - 50s.
Living Big In a Tiny House

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